


Sleep

by orphan_account



Category: Monster, Naoki Urasawa's Monster - Fandom, Naoki Urasawas Monster
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling, F/M, Nightmares, Suicide, Trauma, friendship with hidden feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 04:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19716208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Years after the ending, Nina and Tenma still suffer from the events in the past. Nightmares haunt them nightly... So they decide to comfort each other.





	Sleep

The hospital bed was a unsettling sight. The messy wrinkles of the sheets, the careless way the blanket was thrown aside… To Nina it seemed that it radiated an emotion of terror she couldn't name.  
Her gaze wandered to the figure in front of the window. She could only see his back, but she needed to see his face.  
"Johan…"  
He didn't turn around. He didn't even react. The room was silent. He must have heard her.  
"I forgave you."  
He still stood there, like a ghost, for a long, long while.  
Then he started to move. His hand opened the window so roughly, that it seemed utterly desperate. It wasn't like him at all.  
"What are you doing…"  
Did she even exist in that room? Did he even knew she was there?

Without hesitation he climbed over the edge of the window and sat down on it. She knew what he was going to do. Her stomach twisted in panic.  
"STOP IT! NO!"  
She wanted to run forward but she was frozen in place. Some strange force held her there. No matter how hard she fought against it, not even a finger would move. Her heart raced.

"Don't you see I forgave you?!", Tears welled up in her eyes, her voice cracked. "Come back to my side. There's a way to start all over. A new life… We can be siblings again…"  
Just turn around. Turn around already Look at me!, she thought. But he just sat there, facing down, ready to jump.

A realisation rushed over to her as she watched his back. Like an arrow it shot her, hit her hard.  
Through all the trauma she had experienced, she still have had times in her life when she had been joyful. When she was content with her life.

But Johan had never been truly happy. Never in his entire life. He had never been content. He had never been at peace. Never.

The figure at the window slid down and disappeared. A silent, yet violent scream escaped Ninas lungs and shook everything.

* * *

The pitch darkness of her room greeted her widened eyes, as she had awoken. Her face was wet from the tears and her nose stuffed. The same dream again. Again and Again. She whimpered, curled up under the blanket. Her guts felt like they were drenched in a dark liquid, her body cold. She felt powerless…

The best she should do now was getting out of this dark room. Do something… Slowly she stood up. Step by step she took her way to the kitchen. A quick snack would be a good idea. She hoped she wouldn't awake the others in Reichweins house. It was only 3 AM.

Weirdly, there was already light in the kitchen.  
Confused she entered and was greeted at the sight of the hunched figure of Tenma at the table. His face was covered in his hands and it was obvious he was in a bad state. She felt the urge to comfort him almost immediately.

"Hello…", Nina announced herself.  
Surprised his head shot up. His nose was red, his eyes puffed. He blushed as he realised he had been caught crying and lowered his gaze  
"Oh, hello Nina…" ,he answered and wiped his tears off quickly.

But quickly he forgot about his own feelings as he realised something was wrong with her.  
"Why are you up at this time?", He asked.  
"I had a nightmare. But what about you? Can I help you?" Nina replied. She sat down at the opposite side of the table. "I had the same" ,Tenma confessed. "It's not just this night… I have these dreams very often. About everything that happened..."  
It was unusual for Tenma to open up this fast about his own problems. But Nina knew how much he trusted her. He needed her.  
"I have them regularly too. Almost every time I fall asleep.", she replied.  
Pity formed in his gaze: "I am so so sorry… I was hoping you wouldn't have to bear that too…"

A few moments it was silent.  
"But I think it makes perfectly sense…" Nina said and looked straight into his eyes. "After everything came to an end, we gave ourselves such little time, if not no time at all, to heal. We rushed forwards with life as fast as possible. We didn't want to deal with any more of that pain. We wanted the success and happiness as quick as possible. Not dealing with it anymore. Just throwing it all behind. Me with University and you with the MSF. We buried our wounds in work."  
"...You are right. But of course the scars won't disappear, as we experience now.", Tenma realised.  
"Yes."

Tenma took a sip of his tea. The quiet noises of the fridge filled the air.  
"I am sorry, Nina. I wanted to tell you that sooner, but somehow I didn't know how. That I am deeply sorry."  
"For what?" Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. "After all you did for me? Why would you out of all people need to apologize to me?"  
Tenma looked very serious, when he continued:  
"When I decided to go to the MSF I did it because I still felt guilty. I needed the urge to work for something good after all these months of… the opposite. And as you said, I wanted to escape. But in truth, you needed me here in Germany. We needed each other. I am a terrible friend… "

Nina was touched. Somehow, this was something she really wanted to hear, deep down inside her heart.  
"Tenma… You are my best friend and not terrible, not at all. But...thank you so much. For saying that. All this time I wished to be there for you, but you were so far away…I had missed you so much"  
"I had missed you too, Nina. More than you can imagine."  
They both blushed. It felt good for them to confess that. A warmth spread inside them.

"We should do therapy! As soon as possible. It's finally time…"  
"That's a great idea. We will do it, definitely."  
They smiled at each other.  
"I think we should go to sleep again now that we calmed down. It's unhealthy to stay up that late." Tenma said as he raised from his chair, but then instilled in his moves when he caught the dark expression that rushed over her face.  
"Nina what is wrong?"  
"I don't want go to sleep again. I'm terrified of the thought alone."  
Tenmas thought, as he looked at her. He had something in mind.  
"What exactly are you dreaming of?"  
She frowned.  
"Many things. But the worst of them is… Johans death."  
Tenma flinched. Just like him, she dreamed about that incident too.  
The incident both of them never dared to speak about. It was like an unspoken taboo.  
"I feel like a little child that is terrified to go to bed. I fear the monster, that is my brother. He isn't under my bed. His remains lay there, on the asphalt, outside the window…"  
Tenma slowly walked up to her and carefully took her in his arms.  
"I dream about that too."  
One day they would talk about him. But not yet...  
She returned the hug.  
"Tenma?"  
"Yes?"  
"Would you stay with me until I fall asleep?"  
He was surprised at that direct request. But he saw in her gaze how much she needed his presence and agreed.  
"Alright."

* * *

  
Nina slept in her bed, Tenma on the chair set right beside it. Nina for once, had a hour of sleep without any dreams. A hour that she needed a lot. Unlike Tenma. The list of his nightmares was a whole variety:  
Nina shooting Johan before him, in front of his eyes.  
Him surrounded by corpses, all shot by his own hands.  
Nina crying in front of the open hospital window…  
Him hanging himself to end it all, a dream he had often back then…  
But the worst of them…  
The sight of her figure back then, holding the gun against her head. He slowly approached her… Terrifying fear filling him from head to toe. Then the loud shot. Her blood, flying through the air. Him breaking down, having lost everything…

"Tenma!"  
Shaken by Nina's hands, he woke up.  
"You were crying…You had a nightmare."  
Ashamed he wiped off the tears, but more tears followed. Nina hugged him comfortingly.  
"Let it out.", she said.  
He began sobbing.  
"If I had lost you… If you would've died… I was so afraid. So terrified..." His voice was breaking.  
"Tenma… I'm here thanks to you. And I will stay. I'm here."  
There was something he wanted to say. But it wasn't the right time yet. So he cried into her shoulder… Nina patted his back. Until finally, his sobs died down. A storm that turned into a soft wind.  
"Thank you, Nina."  
He breathed in deeply and sighed.

"Come, lay down beside me." she requested softly.  
His eyes widened, as he blushed.  
"Wha-"  
"It's fine." ,she said. "Please…" her eyes were begging.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Absolutely "

Slowly he laid down beside her. She took his hand in hers. They were both blushing, both shared the same butterflies inside their stomachs.  
"Thank you Tenma." ,she said.  
"I'm thanking you."  
He felt the wish inside him to be closer to her. And like as if she read his mind, she came closer and snuggled onto him.  
A wave of warmth spread through his insides, like a summer shower. It comforted him, let him relax for once in a while. He closed his eyes, laid his arm around her, and gave in into these feelings.

He was home.

* * *


End file.
